RENAISSANCE - Post Brain Haemorrhage

Appa passed away in the early morning hours of December 3, 2014, one month short of his 72 nd birthday.   Well, he was 67 yrs old on the fateful night of brain hemorrhage, so I guess we lost the father we knew back then.   I have been unable to bring myself to write anything about him since that past 3 ½ years.   Each time I think of a blog post, my eyes would tear up, chest turn heavy and breathing would be constricted, sure signs of no blog post. This time I am ready to write about the night he left his physical body. On the night of December 2 nd , as per the routine I was awake until Appa was deep asleep. I called my sister around 11ish to update on him. He was constantly battling infection and was running temperature for the past few months.   Appa’s neurosurgeon messaged me back asking to continue his medication and then I called it a night around 12:30am.   My internal clock woke me up around 4:00am to check on him. ...

Winter 2012 to Summer 2013 were our acupuncture days.   On most days our timing would match with this couple -  the husband was diagnosed with some neuro degenerative disease (not Parkinsons)  that severely reduced his speech and mobility.    They were in their late forties.  He (hence forth referred to as ‘Uncle’!)was a businessman with his sharp acumen still intact.  He apparently guided their son in taking decisions in business by mere head nods.  She was a fulltime caregiver doing her best in supporting her husband.   We swapped stories and challenges when time permitted in between the treatment.    One day we finished treatment and were waiting for the elevator at the same time.  That was probably the first time Appa and the uncle were seeing each other.  They both raised their hands to greet one another.   Appa indicated the arrival of the elevator and uncle motioned his hand signifying...

The only outings our father had for the first few years were for treatments.   There will always be one as the flovor of the season – acutouch, acupuncture, varma or some such.   Temple visits happened only couple of times.  Our presumption was that the treatments would enable him to walk into a temple.  That plan was clearly not working. After similar misfired treatment plans in Kerala , there was little left to do than take him to the temples around Ernakulam, and take him we did, with unbridled gusto. To those unfamiliar with the Kerala temples,  almost all of them are stunning  be it in their simplicity or grandeur.   One of our visit was to a local Krishna temple.   We were at our unprepared best.   The driver, nurse and our father squeezed themselves into the car packed with my brother-in-law dental stuff, which left no room even for the wheelchair, forcing my sister and myself to carry it on...

Few years ago at our   Acutouch   treatment we made the acquaintance of a wonderful mother-son duo.   Rudra, the boy was all cuteness and Kavita, his mother was friendly and resourceful.   Places like these are great treasure troves for information on different treatments and doctors. Kavita highly recommended Dr. Manik Hiranandani who runs an alternative treatment clinic, which is called just that - "The Clinic", at Malakkara in Kerala.  He uses a combination of treatments, but the main focus seems to be   Cranio-Sacral   therapy. After our misadventure with the  Varma treatment  during our Kerala stay, Dr. Hiranandani seemed worth pursuing.  Given his hectic schedule and our inability to take our father to his clinic just for a consult, we scheduled a meeting at a rather unconventional place -  the meeting was outside a bakery on the highway that was taking the Doctor from Ernakulam airport to Malakkara. The D...

We spent the second half of the year 2013 in Ernakulam, Kerala.   My sister lives there with her family and was sorely missing us.  To placate her we decided to visit for a month, but ending up staying for six. Apart from the famed Ayurvedic treatment in Kerala, its also offers other promising alternatives.  Her friends suggested a Varma treatment / massage that cures the incurable.  This is an ancient Siddha treatment with its origins from the neighbouring state of Tamil Nadu.  Although we have had some experience of Varma in Chennai, but for some reason the one in Kerala had an authentic ring to it.   The Master, as the practitioner is addressed, graciously made an exception and visited our father at home.   Between my sister, who can understand malayalam better than speak it, myself with no Malayalam knowledge, the Master with no English and his assistant with some English, we surprisingly communicated with ease and conveyed our father's si...

My good friend Chitra introduced me to Saraswati Vasudevan , a Yoga Teacher and Therapist.  Saraswati comes with years of experience, she is patient, a non judgmental listener and a wonderful teacher.    Last summer I had monthly sessions at her place and would practice on my own on the other days.  This is the Surya Namasakaram that she taught me.   Last year Saraswati also took a session for the caregivers at our monthly meeting.  The turnout was good, reviews positive. Yoga studio 136.1 was kind enough to offer their space at Alwarpet for no cost.  The following video is a set of relaxation asanas they taught during the session.  One of her students is demonstrating with Saraswati guiding her.  If I do not practice Yoga for few months, I turn irritable, snappy, basically a threat to myself and those around me.  With no Yoga for past 6 months looks like I am surely heading there. 

Somewhere in 2011 my good friend Rohan sent me a link to a documentary on Ayurveda .  It showcases different practitioners of Ayurveda, its  ninth part  caught my attention.  One, a patient in the film suffered from brain hemorrhage and two, the doctor (he is an indigenous healer / vaidhiyar, not a certified doctor) lived in Southern India which would make the travel not too adventurous.  I guessed the adventure part incorrectly. Sri Narasipura Subbaiah Narayana Murthy (the Doctor) lives ofcourse in Narasipura, which falls under the Shimoga district in Karnataka.  My research prior the travel showed that all one needs to do is to get to Narasipura or Shimoga and locals know the doctor's place. Our male cousin in Bangalore who is specially fond of my father agreed to accompany me.  We left to Shimoga on a Saturday since the doctor consults only on Sundays and Thursdays. Consultation begins at 7:00am, its on first come first serve basis.  I tho...

There has been a consistent and worrying drop in the Albumin levels for my father since we started him on a Naturopathy diet - more on that for later.  The accepted minimum norm might be irrelevant for someone like my father who isn't mobile or active like most people.  Thats what I tell myself to avoid panic attacks over the seemly alarming dip. Almonds and peanuts were given to get his levels up.  They turned out too hard for him to digest and he developed constipation and lost weight.   The next hope was on Ragi (finger millets).  We had to soak, sprout, grind, boil and reduce it to half, & finally mix it with a banana.  Will elaborate on this drink in a different post, it was delicious. Everything was followed religiously.  He developed violent diarrhea and lost weight.  Meanwhile the albumin levels kept going down. Dr. Arun Sharma, our natural hygiene doctor / Naturopath then suggested soy milk.  Online resources like the Instr...

Caregiver Support Group by smeiyappan Early this year Mr. Ravi from Pain and Stroke Rehab Center called to tell me about one Ms. Rama Murali who wants to start a support group for caregivers.   The call made me jubiliant as it had been my great desire to have or start such a group in Chennai. Sometimes the promise of something is greater than what it ends up offering, thankfully it wasn't the case this time.   Following a good conversation on the phone, Rama and I soon met up.   She was passionate and persistent about the support group.  Had been working with IIT (Indian Institute of Technology), Madras, to develop a communications App for caregivers and had come with the name Care. Connect. Community CARE3 (read CARE cube) for the group. She had put in a lot of work hunting for families, spending time with them and drafting objectives of the group.  When we met she was yet to have her first meeting.  Now the group has had over 6 - 7 mont...

Three months and two weeks since we have come to my Sister's place in Kochi.  How and why we got here is a different blog post.  A month ago there was one of the usual hartals in Kerala that gave my brother-in-law a rare day off which he did not want to spend sitting at home.  None wanted to go leaving the other with our father.  The best option was for all of us to go - parents, grandma, sister, brother-in-law, niece, driver, nurse and myself. Although it was merely an overnight stay at the resort we needed to pack supplies for our father - Diapers, rubber sheet, urine can, catherter, urine bag, cotton, gauze, two wheelchairs, couple of gowns, towels, enema can, sterilium, nebulizer kit, BP apparatus, thermometer, record keeping book, brushing set and lignocane jelly - just a few items. The hour and half drive to Kumarakom was pleasant, he sat next to the driver looking out through the window and munching Hide and Seek biscuits.  We made it there for b...

When living in the U.S. there were couple of times when I tried to do the 10 day Vipassana Meditation .   Something,  mostly work, would need me and I would end up cancelling in the last minute.  The first time around made me particularly sad.  Mainly so as I was to do it with a good friend Rohan. He had changed centers for me, we were to fly together to Boston and stay at one of my friend's place before heading to the center.  I had to back off the last minute leaving Rohan in a not too exuberant situation.   During then and at other times when my desire to attend would obviously remain just that, I consoled myself that it wasn't for me.  Somethings aren't meant to be, not for us, not what we need, not in the plan for our spiritual path - so its been with me and Vipassana. Since my father's hemorrhage I have tried to incorporate Vipassana philosophy into my caregiving and pretty much everyday being.  Days like today are particularly good pra...

On the day of our father's hemorrhage my sister flew in from Cochin and I followed her from the U.S.  For the next year and half we were like two peas in a pod.  There was practically no life outside of home.  We talked the most to each other and did everything together.  Most importantly each decision for our father was taken jointly.    Being sisters we had ofcourse grown up together.   But the trajectory of growth in this period was steep and outstanding.  We learned to distinguish useful doctors from the smart ones,  to sport worthy service persons with five minutes in to the conversation with them, to decide on best course of treatment even in the face of conflicting opinions, and the list goes on.  My personal favorite for obvious reasons is when we play the good cop - bad cop routine, where I would invariably be the good cop. Our personalities complimented perfectly.  She would be impatient for results, ideas, and pretty...

Almost over a year and half after we inserted the PEG tube to feed our father, it was time to remove it this summer.  Hurrah.  He is able to consume food orally, although with some coughing and not at a stellar pace, but the good news is he can eat.   Since inserting the PEG was such an adventure, we expected it would alteast be half as much for its removal.  Once this decision was made,  we wasted maybe another two to three weeks to arrange for finances.   It was destination Apollo, so obviously we deemed it necessary to be stuffed with money when we walked in. We fixed an appointment with the same gastro doctor who had inserted it.   As usual had a bag full of questions for him - How long will it take? Should his stomach be empty?  Expected wait time for the procedure?  The cost? Any tests?  All the Doctor had to say for any question was that it was a simple procedure and to just get him to the hospital. The Doctor wa...

                                                                Source: Planetthrive.com  If one were to take a survey of the number of labs in Chennai, the city of our residence, a mindboggling but unsurprising number would show up.    In our 5 months at Apollo Specialty Hospital (ASH) lab tests made up almost one-fourth of the mammoth bill.  As with many things we realized there is Apollo, and then there is rest of the medical world.   Apparently their equipments and diagnostic procedures are cutting edge, a line of reasoning used to justify almost double the cost of tests done elsewhere.    Once out of Apollo it was surely a tough act to follow for some of the specialized test.  But for the routine ones - after two years, various labs and multiple tests I have a...

As a young family living in Andhra Pradesh in 1980s it would’ve been hard to miss movies of K. Vishwanath that are now regarded as classics.   His movies revolve around some theme of classical dance or music.   With no formal knowledge in this classical tradition, but with the ability to enjoy and appreciate art our parents were huge admirers of his movies.   By huge I mean diehard.  We watched the movie Sagara Sangamam countless time -  as kids we made multiple trips to the theater with barely any comprehension of its mature theme, as young teens at home it seemed entertaining and as adults and equals with parents we spent countless hours appreciating and sometimes explaining certain nuances.   Music from his movies was a constant on our record player. Now with all the post stroke rehabilitation we show, do and talk thing that we know our father enjoys.   We repeatedly played the scenes and songs from the Sag...