Appa passed away
in the early morning hours of December 3, 2014, one month short of his 72nd
birthday. Well, he was 67 yrs old on the
fateful night of brain hemorrhage, so I guess we lost the father we knew back
then.
I have been
unable to bring myself to write anything about him since that past 3 ½ years. Each time I think of a blog post, my eyes
would tear up, chest turn heavy and breathing would be constricted, sure
signs of no blog post.
This time I am
ready to write about the night he left his physical body.
On the night of
December 2nd, as per the routine I was awake until Appa was deep
asleep. I called my sister around 11ish to update on him. He was constantly
battling infection and was running temperature for the past few months. Appa’s neurosurgeon messaged me back asking to
continue his medication and then I called it a night around 12:30am. My internal clock woke me up around
4:00am to check on him. When I opened my
eyes, I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted that for a split second I
contemplated going back to sleep, but then I hauled myself out of bed.
One look at him
and I knew it wasn’t good. He had his eyes closed and seemed peaceful. It
looked like he had coughed. He is usually up at this time, making noises,
gesturing me to come close to him or to give him something to eat. But it was
all too quiet in the room. Body was still warm, checked pulse, BP – nothing.
Just like that, all peaceful, quiet and alone, he made his transition journey.
Today is Tamil
New Year’s, I am alone at home as I write this and I am finally not tearing up
about his absence. Happy new year
indeed. Miss you Appa.
Comments
Post a Comment